Addiction!! Is like a Snow Cone..

Do you struggle with addiction?  Maybe not... Or maybe you do and don't event realize it.  Do you smoke? Do you eat sweets, drink soda or coffee?  Have you tried to stop any of these?

Many people think of an addict as someone abusing drugs or alcohol and wonders why they just don't stop.  Have you seen the commercials on smoking, showing a person dying from lung cancer and still smoking?  Why would anyone keep doing something that may cost them everything?  They may lose their job, their family, their freedom or even their life.

The answer is not that simple, but it involves your brain.  In simple terms, your  brain was taught by you, what to like or not to like and when this changes your brain is not happy.  Everything you do affects your brain; exercise, watching TV, drinking coffee or even social media. Yes their is an addiction called Internet addiction disorder (IAD).  Have you ever tried to start or stop a habit?  Its not easy.

Lets magnify this a little, if you use drugs or alcohol it changes your brain chemistry an when you try to stop your brain doesn't like it at all.  It will doing anything to get those chemicals back you have been pouring into it every day for years.

Think of addiction this way, have you ever had a snow cone, at first it taste really good and is a bright blue or red, but then all that flavor and color drains to the bottom and now their is no color and no flavor.  This is your brain on drugs.. once the ice has not flavor and no color the brain wants it back.. The brain says.. "Pour more of that syrup on me please".  

 Your brain will try to override everything you do to get you back to doing what it wants.  Until... You retrain you brain.  So next time you can't just walk by a cookie think about who is asking for that cookie? you or your brain.

Addiction is like a Skunk

Addiction is like a Skunk… it looks really soft, fun and friendly… until it turns on you and sprays you. Once you get that smell on you, no one wants to be around you.  After a while you can’t smell it and wonder why no one wants you around.  It’s because you stink of addiction, you make everyone one who gets near run the other way and you refuse to listen and take bath in tomato juice.  Now you are the angry skunk that bites the hand that feeds you. 

I saw this post on Facebook recently and there is some truth to it.... 

It made me stop and think… I work with enough addicts to see what could be behind a post like this; such as fear and hopelessness and maybe even trying justification their behavior for not trying to do something about.  When you are offered opportunity after opportunity and all you do is find a reason why the timing is bad or it’s not the right solution for you... etc etc etc...  There comes a time when you need to choose to stop using your addiction as a crutch and do something for yourself.   Look at those around you and ask how they did it... Do what they did until you find a better way and continue to do.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our addition and labels we become handicapped by them, paralyzed by them.  We start to believe our own lies, our own thinking and can’t understand why we are the only one who gets it. You believe you are the only one who understands what you are going through.  Have you ever stopped to think maybe it’s me, maybe I am the one who doesn’t get it?  The problem with addiction is sometimes you can’t see through your own cloud.  You are stuck in your addiction and you can’t see beyond your own thoughts, your own perceived reality, you can’t hear what others are saying.  All you hear is I am broken, damaged, hopeless, worthless, a burden.  I am not worthy, I don’t matter.

Being damaged inside, in some ways, is more difficult than on the outside because no one can see the damage. When we are damaged inside we wear a mask to hide the pain.   When someone loses a leg it’s kind of obvious.  So which is harder to recovery from, internal damage or external damage?  Well, it depends on you and how willing you are to do something about it.

 

When we look at how the brain works it becomes very clear why this happens.  When we hear something long enough, feel something long enough, we begin to believe it, and hold on to it with both hands.  We become it, it has dug deep ruts in our brain.  As Earl Nightingale said "The only difference between a rut and a grave is one has the ends kicked out."   The same applies to some mental illness, they can consume us.  It's like the black dog of depression, when he gets a hold of us we can’t shake him.  Everywhere we go he follows us, waiting, for a sign of weakness, so he can devour us. 

So where and how do you get started with changing your thinking?  Change starts one step at a time, one new thought at a time, trying something different.  Think about how someone who has lost a leg, or both legs learn to walk again.  Can you image getting out of bed and realizing you can’t walk, when you try to stand up you fall flat on your face because you forgot you don’t have legs?  They have to change their thinking and not just jump out of bed like they have for the last thirty years. Now imagine how easily the addition could catch who lost their legs, they have the perfect excuse, they can’t even walk… or can they? 

Next time you think you will never be anything but an addict, think of the person who lost both legs in an accident and chose to walk again instead of laying down and accepting their fate.  The fate of never walking again, letting that black dog of depression catch them.  For them the skunk of addiction could look like an easy solution.  

Why do some choose to walk when others choose to fall? 

They choose because they know anything is possible, they hold on with every fiber of their being to

Hope, Meaning and Purpose so they can run again. 

I am not a piece of meat am I

We often hear about the failures in addiction and mental health treatment and its usually the headline on the evening news, telling us of a tragic ending.  It is rare we get to hear about the successes, especially when the cause of the pain started at age three.

I want to share with you a story of one women who struggled with addiction for thirty years.   Her name is Melissa, she wanted her story told because she wanted everyone to know her story and to see what is possible.  She is now thirty-eight and is happy and healthy, but what she went through to get here is truly heart breaking.  

Her trauma began at age three, that is when she was first sexually molested by her mother’s boyfriend and it continued in various forms until just a few years ago.   Her mother was divorced and had several boy friends who molested Melissa until she ran away at age twelve.  At eight-years-old she already had a problem with alcohol, at age ten, because of a DUI, (yes at ten) was treated for alcohol abuse. On her eleventh birthday her dad gave her a bag of Marijuana. Happy birthday Melissa.   She would often run away and when she was gone, she was rarely missed, but she always returned back to her mother’s house.  Not always by choice.  The system failed her.

At age twelve, she finally escaped the molestation at home, little did she know she was running into the hands of the devil, a pedophile. She ran away to Vermont with a guy who was twenty-six years old and within a week he began to physical and emotional abuse her daily.  The abuse was constant and caused her to miscarry nine times.  Her first at fourteen and she gave birth to her first of three children at fifteen.  She lived in constant fear and pain, all the while her drug and alcohol use increased and she began to have run-ins with the law and eventually she lost custody of her children. At twenty-six decided she had two choices, run away or die, she chose to run. The system failed her again.

She made her way back to the Northwest, back to where it all started.  Bringing with her the guilt and pain of losing her children.  The pain was overwhelming and her drinking and drug use escalated. Through the years she suffered more heartache, abuse and broken relationships, continuing to self-medicating. She got clean and sober a few times, but it never lasted long.  In and out of prison she went through their form of treatment but it didn’t deal with the underlying cause of her addiction and criminal behavior. She had been through the material so many times she could teach the lessons, but her head knowledge never helped to healed her heartache.

After one of her stints in prison she went to a local faith based recovery center, where she ran away twice, what a surprise.  The third time she stayed 126 days and this time God got a hold of her, but even then her sobriety didn’t last long.  She relapsed shortly after because she had not addressed or even understood her pain. Since she had never dealt with her physical and emotional pain, the effects of her trauma would continue to come rushing back and she would turn to what she knew best... Drugs and Alcohol.

Once again she found herself back in a courtroom, this time it was in front of Judge Mitchel and he doled out some tough love and enrolled her in the Mental Health Court Program.  When they gave her a little rope, she ran with it and ended up back in jail, with new charges for possession of Meth.  This happened when she had enrolled in a local welding program, which was supposed to be a safe place.  Soon found herself surrounded by other students using Meth and soon she was using again.  This time, realizing she made a bad choice, she turned herself into the court and confessed her use of Meth. 

Mental Health Court Graduation

Melissa ended up back in front of Judge Mitchel and apparently he wasn’t willing to give up on her, he saw something in her others missed.  Instead of a long prison sentence, the Judge gave her another chance, this time with a shorter rope and he let her back into the Mental Health Court Program.  This time they were tougher on her, filling her days with drug tests, counseling and court ordered Celebrate Recovery, this is where I met Melissa.  When she walked into Celebrate Recovery the first night, it was obvious she was hurting, very angry and shut down and didn’t want to be there.  She sat near the back of the room, with her arms crossed, her angry face firmly in place.  She reluctantly continued to come every week and began to open up and we got to hear why she was angry.  She made it clear she was tough as nails and no one was going to make her do anything.  God had another plan.

After a few months she was up front and center every night and occasionally we would hear a little giggle and even see a smile.  We soon realized that anger and tough shell was her way of protecting herself, since she could no longer hide behind drugs and alcohol. 

We were only about six months into Celebrate Recovery and our groups continued to multiple and we were going to need more leaders. We needed to start a leadership training program and selected several we thought showed promise and Melissa was one of them.  None of them were ready, especially Melissa, but that didn’t stop us.  Over the next three months we conducted weekly training and Melissa started to blossom.  As part of this training they are all required to write their testimonies and present it in front of the group.  This is big step for them, because it requires them to write down what happened in their life, what hurt them and the damage they caused.  This forces them to deal with their past.  For Melissa, this was huge and created a major breakthrough.  She asked me to help

Completion of 12 months CR

her with her testimony and together we worked through every step of her life and we discussed it along the way.  When she was reading her own story, she stopped and stared at me intensely and said “I am not a piece of meat am I, this was not my fault”.  I said “no Melissa it is not your fault”, her face changed and the anger drained out and she has never been the same since.  Everything that happened to Melissa since she was three formed her self-image and until that moment she saw herself as garbage and just a piece of meat.  Now God had her heart and she realized she mattered.  

She has worked very hard and received support from Judge Mitchel and the team from the Mental Health Court Program has given her a chance to grow and heal.  During all of this, she found time to go through a program called Light Works Project a vocational training program for the at-risk community. At Light Works the team meets every morning and prays together then head into the shop to learn construction skills by building Tiny Houses.  The tiny houses are really just a byproduct, most importantly they are taught character, conflict resolution and how to work as a team, all the soft skills they were never taught.  Once she completed her training she become a paid internship and was now earning a living and began to build self-esteem. It is important to note; this is the first time in her life she held a job. 

Now after fourteen months in the Mental Health Court Program she has graduated in front of a standing room only courtroom, filled with all the people who came to show their support.  Many had tears, including the judge who has a huge heart for those he works with.  Melissa is off Social Security and has left the nest of the Light Works Project and works full-time for a local plaster company, she has her own apartment and a truck.  Now Melissa is contributing to society. 

She made it this far because she refused to give up and everyone around her refused to give up on her. Everyone was focused on the whole person, not just her addiction or criminal behavior.  It will take years to heal all the wounds and she will need emotional support for a long time but now she has a future and is not behind bars. 

The important point of this story is what it took to get her to where she is today.  First she had to get clean and sober, then learn how to survive without being self-medicated.  She had to heal her pain and learn to follow the rules of life and then how to deal with the real world.  Miss any of these steps and she would have failed.

Healthy and Happy today

This time the system did not fail her and this is what treatment should look like for everyone. 

Do you have a daughter

Do you have a daughter?  Then you should be very worried. 

Are you wondering what is happening with our young men and why they behave the way they do. Most of us don't realize the brain continues to be wired until our early 20's.  Everything our teens see, do and experience is wiring their brain.  The violent movies, violent video games, online conversations and online pornography are changing the way they think, feel and act.  Most of it done in isolation.  This is where they learn how to treat your daughter.  

All of this is wiring their brain and teaching them how to act and respond to the people and world around them.  

No wonder we have an increase in drug abuse and violence.  

Remember when young guys went out to play ball on the corner lot and they had to learn to cope with not being picked or not being the best?  They had to learn how to deal with conflict, being called names, face-to-face, and it usually ended up with them working it out and leaving as friends.  Now it’s all online, name calling, others piling on, one of them ends up hurting emotionally, pulling inward even more.  Now they hurt deep inside and they turn to drugs, porn or violence to numb the pain…

“On any given day, teens in the United States spend about nine hours using media for their enjoyment, according to the report by Common Sense Media. Some 13-year-olds check social media 100 times a day.”

When you combine this with early drug use, yes this includes marijuana, the effects on the brain increase dramatically.  Drug use changes how the brain processes information and how it is wired. Even moderate drug use slows the maturity growth and can cause mental illness. 

As you can see the problems for our young men are spiraling out of control and we need to do something.

I will leave you with one scary fact… “Some national studies show that up to 70% of women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner”

Treat or not to treat... what was the question

Treatment for addiction and mental illness typically consists of short term counseling and long term medication. Isn’t this backward.  

Many treatment centers for addiction are now called integrated treatment or dual diagnosis to treat concurring disorders.  In other words, individuals with substance use conditions often have a mental health condition at the same time, and vice versa.  We now know, many addicts struggle with mental illness, such as depression and anxiety.  In many cases, this is the proper treatment, but in some cases it is a diagnosis just to get paid.  We all know insurance bills get inflated because insurance companies will pay for some treatments and not others.  Treatment has become what will the insurance company pay for and not what is best for the patient.

The big issue with long term medication protocol is the medication dampens everything, not just the depression or anxiety.  They may help with depression and anxiety, but they also impact the pleasure center of the brain, many patients say they feel like a zombie.  Medicating a patient doesn’t deal with the root cause of their mental illness or addiction.   Treatment should be about making people well, not suppressing the underlining cause or trading addiction.  

Take Suboxone for example; it's like Methadone, where people stop using heroin and are prescribed Suboxone by a doctor to alleviate the withdrawals.    The cost to the patient, without insurance, is about $500 per month.  The doctor is now in control of the addict, they are told how much to take, when to take it and when to pee in a cup.  Follow my rules or no soup for you.   Did the addict just change dealers? 

What we should be doing is treating people to get them to a point where they can stand on their own two feet, dealing with the pain of life, using tools they have learned to be able to deal with the pain, anxiety and disappointment. 

Treatment should have a short term and long term goals with milestones customized for each

client.  Treatment is not like making sugar cookies. Each client is different, and they have different needs.  The treatment professional should work with the client to define what can be accomplished in three month increments, over two to three years so it heals and changes habits and behaviors. The use of technology can reduce the cost and help manage the goals and milestones.  If the treatment is tiered the client can begin to get their life back and not be chained to their treatment.  

Addict... Label or Diagnosis

Redefine addiction and not let it define the addict

There is a stigma and for many a sense of shame associated with addiction.  Where did it come from, was it created by the industry or the addict?  Webster says a Stigma is a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people or a mark of shame or discredit.

Now that an addict has decided to seek treatment they deserve support not shame and why do they need to keep introducing themselves as an addict?  I am not sure this is a good idea, how does it help their recovery? Think about it. When they go to a recovery meeting they are told to introduce themselves and say “Hi my name is Dave and I am a drug addict” or “Hi my name is Sally and I am an alcoholic”.  Sure, when you decide to get help you do need to admit you have a problem and that you are an addict.  We all know this is the first step in recovery and is the most important step.  

Why do you need to keep labeling yourself?   Are they perpetuating the stigma of addiction or are they standing up loud and proud?  There are still those who still believe an addict is just morally flawed, just weak and should “just say no”.  We now know it’s not a weakness and science proves it is a disease and now the only question is; what caused the disease and addictive behavior.  Was it caused by nature, nurture or both?  We already know hereditary traits play a role in addictive and compulsive behavior.  We also know our environment can have a dramatic and long term effects on our brain and can trigger these behaviors.  The effects on the brain of being neglected and abused are undeniable.  This was illustrated by the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study at Kaiser Permanente, where they looked at childhood experiences of trauma, abuse, neglect, and family dysfunction and scored each of these experiences.  This study showed with a score of 4 or higher they were five times more likely to become an alcoholic and score of 6 or higher were 46 times more likely to become an IV drug user later in life.  These results have been supported by more than 50 scientific articles. 

Addiction is not about a criminal with a bottle in a paper bag or a needle in his arm.  It’s about the damaged child, the changes in the brain and the pain they are trying to run from or suppress. 

Listen to people around you talk about their addiction and you start to see it has become their identity or even a crutch. It’s all they know. I saw a post on the internet and it said “I’m a drug addict, I suffer with a disease called addiction.  I can’t be cured but I have learned to live with it”.  I found this very sad that she thought this was now her identity.  Recently I received a fundraiser email from a supporter of a non-profit treatment center and in the email they said “They are number 1 in the area in turning thieves into wonderful law abiding citizens”.  This may be true, but did the writer think about the impact those words have on a reader who may be struggling with addiction. I can only imagine what this said to a reader who is struggling. Is this the way society sees me? Why even try?  They may have become a thief but it’s not what they wanted to be and it’s not where they started. They started out an innocent child who was neglected, abused and hurting.

Along with the abuse they suffered they were given labels such as; stupid, moron, idiot, and

worthless, now they have a new label.  Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy and they begin to self-identify with these labels? If you hear something long enough and often enough, you begin to believe it.   The addict doesn’t need the rest of the world telling them how bad they are, they do enough of that on their own.  The media tells us what an addict should look like, you have all seen the guy on the bench with a bottle wrapped in a paper bag or the girl prostituting herself for drug money.  Is that who they really are or is it what has happened to them?  

Addicts begin to own the labels society gives them, it’s their identity.  For some, it has become an excuse not to try anymore.  Some even think... if I tell people I’m an addict they won’t expect much from me and I can get by with accomplishing less.  Don’t hold me accountable because I am defective, I have a disease.  I can’t work because I can’t handle the pressure, I might relapse.  Remember, they are hurting, depressed and without hope.

Taking it further, what if you continue to believe you are sick, will your negative thinking prolong your illness?   Dr. Chopra and Dr. Segal believe positive thinking plays a significant role in recovering from cancer and other illnesses.  So why is it any different with addiction?

I think now it is time to redefine addiction and not let it define the addict.  

Maybe we should start looking at addiction as any other disease, such as cancer.  When you are diagnosed with cancer people don’t run from you, they “Run For The Cure”, they support you, they make sure you get your treatment and even start crowdfunding for you.  Some cancers are not curable, but they can be treated and go into remission.  Once your cancer is in “Remission” people drop the label and stop treating you like you’re sick.  Then it’s up to the cancer patient to take care of their health and follow the long term treatment protocol and watch for reoccurring signs.  Addiction is not much different.  Once you have been in treatment and are in “Recovery” you can lead a normal life as long as you follow the treatment protocol and watch for triggers.

Let’s drop the labels and realize we are all struggling with something.  No need to label, enable or coddled anyone because of their illness, just support them and hold them accountable for their actions.  Addicts also need drop the label or crutch which ever they are choosing to use and focus on the positive side of recovery. They survived… 

Its about rewiring the brain and changing habits.  

What if addicts began to do what top performers do?  Athletes use positive self-talk to accomplish amazing feats of athleticism…   Muhammad Ali took it to the next level by saying... I am the greatest! I'm the greatest thing that ever lived. 

Helen Keller who was deaf and blind said Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.  

One big fish story…

One big fish story… or The path of least resistance

When talking about addiction and how it affects the brain have you ever heard the term “what fires together wires together”?  What does this mean.  The phrase, “neurons that fire together wire together” can be attributed to Donald Hebb, a neuropsychologist, who said this in 1949. 

Each time you have a thought or encounter, different areas of your brain records this information all at the same time. (they fired together and are now wired together) i.e. You will never forget the first time you touched a hot stove; what it felt like, looked like and even smelled like, because your brain remembered every detail.  Next time you see a hot stove all of those areas in your brain remember it in details.  This happens with the good things in life too. When you hear a song it can take you right back to that moment in time, the feeling and what you were doing, who you were with.  Advertisers have known this for a long time and they hit you in as many regions as the brain as they can, sight, sound, scent etc.  This way your brain associates that product in many different ways.  The more times the same thing happens the stronger these connections get. 

I like to think of brain wiring like that path down to the creek when you were kids.  When you first started to go down to the creek you had to push through waste high grass with your fishing pole slung over your shoulder.  Remember the first time you fished there and all the big fish you caught?  That memory kept you coming back time after time, using the same path.  By the end of the summer you could clearly see the path you had been taking and within a couple of years it was a well-worn path.  Every time you start down that path you remember the first big fish you caught and you say to yourself, today I’m going to catch another really big one today, but you never do.  All you have left is the memory and a well-worn path.

This is what happens to our brain when we repeat anything over and over.  We create well-worn paths and these paths are what we follow without much conscious thought, hoping for one more big fish. 

In the case of addictive behavior, it may start out as a something to distract and entertain us or ease our pain.  Then here comes that well-worn path of a habit, followed by the anticipation of what is going to happen.   That first rush is now long gone and replaced with the brains need to keep that feeling coming.  They brain starts to tell the rest of the body it needs that old feeling back…  right now and it does it rather loudly.  Then when the body grabs that fishing pole the brain begins to anticipate what is about to happen its starts the fireworks show and those neurons begin to fire much like it does when we actually engage in the addictive behavior.  People talk about the rush they get from hearing the casino noise or seeing drug paraphernalia and its almost as powerful as the addiction itself.  We now see that with the internet and smart phones; every notification on your phone brings a rush of excitement of what the message might be.

What addicts really need is help building new paths, healthy paths that lead in all new directions,

away from old thinking and friends.  If they don’t get rid of the old paths they start to think they can go fishing with their old friends just one more time.     

Our brain keeps telling us, there might be one really big fish left, I bet we will catch it this time.  Let the fish go, that one last time may kill them…