Punishment... why and for how long?

What if you made a mistake and someone rubbed your nose in it every day..... for the rest of your life?

So many people who are trying to get their life back on track are tripped up by the very system they are told is there to help them. I know so many on parole and probation who say their parole officer changes the rules regularly, put obstacles in their way to trip them up. They tell me, they believe it is to make them fail so it looks like the officer is doing their job.

Does the system treat everyone one the same, unfairly.... because there are so many who abuse the system, lie, cheat and steal at every turn, tainting the officers and making them cold and callus. Are the officers so overloaded they have to treat everyone as a number not a person with potential?

So what happens to those who are really trying, to do the right thing, turn their mistakes into positives. Some just give up, and say " what's the use" and they go back to their old ways and just waits for the enviable. Back to prison.

Does the system reward the wrong behavior from the officers. Does it reward them for how many possible crimes they may have prevented... I don't know how they are rewarded, but I know the system is broken. Maybe it should reward them for how many people they get back on track and not back in jail... Why do 76% end up back in jail?

Prisons and Parole/Probation unions employ a lot of people and have a lot of money to lobby our elected officials.

Are we just Feeding the beast...

Life of a Felon...

Have you ever thought about what happens to someone who has been arrested and charged with a felony?  What if that felony was because of multiple arrest for drug use or stealing to support their drug use?

Here is the problem, there are limited options for treatment and so without proper treatment, they relapse 80% of the time and end up becoming a habitual drug users and then habitual offenders.  What usually happens is they are arrested multiple times, and finally charged with a felony and sent to prison and may even go through some form of treatment while in prison.  Once they are released from prison they have a parole officer, a curfew and fines and fees to pay.  That’s where the problem really begins.  There are not many employers who will hire a felon, if you apply for a job and are truthful and put on the application you have a felony, that application goes to the bottom of the pile.  In addition, how many landlords will rent to a felon?  So they end up sleeping on couches wherever they can until they wear out their welcome and they end up on the streets selling drugs again trying to support themselves.  On top of all this they have had to learn to be a thug just to survive in prison.  What do you think happens to a nice guy in prison…?  Yes, that’s right.

Now that I have painted part of the picture here is what happens to many.  According to government statistics 76% of those on parole end up back in jail within five years.  While in jail they get accustomed to prison life and many find that because they have a felony prison life is easier than life on the outside. 

They used to say prison is to reform criminal behavior but in most cases it makes things worse.  Children lose their parent, parents lose their children, wives lose their husbands.  There are too many single moms struggling to get by.  No one wins.

Think about it, to protect us from these so called "bad guys" we have made the problem worse.  They come out worse than they went in, they can’t get a job, their family doesn’t trust them and they have nowhere to live.  How do you think they now see themselves now?  They have taken ownership of every label that society has given them and wear it like armor.  You can’t hurt them anymore than they have been hurt already, yeah I know, most of it was caused by what they did, but now they have nothing to lose. 

We need more treatment, not more prison guards.   Treatment needs to include a complete education; job skills, how keep a job, coping skills, character building and conflict resolution. We need to teach them how to survive in the real world and in the workplace. If you just toss them back into situations where they will use the same skills they have always used, which they are quite skilled at and they will fail. 

We need to help them take off that mask they have put on to protect themselves.  Remember when they were children… They didn’t have to wear a mask.

A burst appendix and addiction

A burst appendix and addiction are similar, the both cause pain we can not see.

When we treat a disease we must remember there is a human being behind the disease.  Too often we forget there is a person with feelings behind the behavior, the illness, the struggles and the pain.  We go through life reacting because of our life experience, our callousness and our pain.   

When a doctor is treating a patient with cancer it is easy to remove their self from the human in front of them and see it is just another problem to solve, just another form to fill out.  When we treat an addict we must remember there is a human being behind all the anger, deceit and bad choices.  We must remember they didn’t start out this way, they became this way over time.  The tough part is not to become cold and callous to their condition.  Sure they are going to lie, yell, and treat you poorly. They will even cheat on their UA test, we must look at why they are acting this way.  Is it out of shame, guilt, the pain or is it how they have learned to protect themselves.  When you confront them about lying, cheating and their bad behavior it’s their nature react, to want to protect themselves with more lies to cover up the last lie.  We must look beyond this and still treat them as a person who is hurting. 

What if you were rushed into the emergency room screaming in pain because your appendix just burst and the surgeon said“until you clam down and stop screaming I am not going to treat you”.  The patient would die before that happened.

Realize an addict is in pain; pain you can't see or understand.  Don’t take it personally and don’t let it make you cold and callous.  Look beyond the lies, the anger and the behavior and treat them as a human being in pain. 

Discover what is causing their pain, causing them to act this way, what are they afraid of if they tell the truth and ask for help.  They may not know and we must help them answer the question.

When the surgeon asks the patient where does it hurt, they may get “everywhere” or even “I already told you &(#)#^&..”  This doesn’t deter the nurses and doctors from their mission of saving a life.

You must not be deterred from your mission, because how you treat an addict may save their life and someone else’s life.  

Humanitarian crisis unfolding

Humanitarian crisis unfolding crisis right here at home.

We need to focus on our citizens...

Our prisons are full but not because of crime… Did you know that there are over 705,600 mentally ill being housed in our prisons and are not being treated but instead many are kept in isolation.

Did you know that on any given night there are 57,849 veterans are homeless?  I’m sure you know that there are literally thousands of veterans are still waiting for treatment and many have died waiting for that treatment from our Veterans Administration.

There are 22 million drug addicts and 13 million alcoholics in the United States 27% of the population in the United States will suffer from some form of substance abuse in their lifetime.

What about those who still can’t find a job to feed their family

As of July 2015 the Bureau of Labor statistics state that there are 8.3 million workers currently unemployed, this does not take into account the 90 million who have left the workforce. Currently there are 110 million people on welfare and we spend a $1 trillion to support these programs.

So when you hear people talking about the crisis at the border, stop and think what is happening within our borders, with the citizens of the United States. Think about how they are constantly being neglected and mistreated by our own government.

If you can’t feed your family you are not worried about healthcare.  Our government has spent over a $1 billion on a health care system that still hasn't lived up to the promise of increased access and reduced cost.  How about spending that on building the economy?

Don’t you think it’s time that we sweep our own doorstep and take care of our own citizens instead of trying to solve the problems of every person who comes knocking on our door?  We have a  humanitarian crisis unfolding crisis right here at home.

 http://nicic.gov/mentalillness

http://rt.com/usa/mental-illness-jail-hospital-281/

http://www.familyhomelessness.org/children.php?p=ts

http://www.statisticbrain.com/high-school-dropout-statistics/

http://www.statisticbrain.com/welfare-statistics/

Addiction!! Is like a Snow Cone..

Do you struggle with addiction?  Maybe not... Or maybe you do and don't event realize it.  Do you smoke? Do you eat sweets, drink soda or coffee?  Have you tried to stop any of these?

Many people think of an addict as someone abusing drugs or alcohol and wonders why they just don't stop.  Have you seen the commercials on smoking, showing a person dying from lung cancer and still smoking?  Why would anyone keep doing something that may cost them everything?  They may lose their job, their family, their freedom or even their life.

The answer is not that simple, but it involves your brain.  In simple terms, your  brain was taught by you, what to like or not to like and when this changes your brain is not happy.  Everything you do affects your brain; exercise, watching TV, drinking coffee or even social media. Yes their is an addiction called Internet addiction disorder (IAD).  Have you ever tried to start or stop a habit?  Its not easy.

Lets magnify this a little, if you use drugs or alcohol it changes your brain chemistry an when you try to stop your brain doesn't like it at all.  It will doing anything to get those chemicals back you have been pouring into it every day for years.

Think of addiction this way, have you ever had a snow cone, at first it taste really good and is a bright blue or red, but then all that flavor and color drains to the bottom and now their is no color and no flavor.  This is your brain on drugs.. once the ice has not flavor and no color the brain wants it back.. The brain says.. "Pour more of that syrup on me please".  

 Your brain will try to override everything you do to get you back to doing what it wants.  Until... You retrain you brain.  So next time you can't just walk by a cookie think about who is asking for that cookie? you or your brain.

Addiction is like a Skunk

Addiction is like a Skunk… it looks really soft, fun and friendly… until it turns on you and sprays you. Once you get that smell on you, no one wants to be around you.  After a while you can’t smell it and wonder why no one wants you around.  It’s because you stink of addiction, you make everyone one who gets near run the other way and you refuse to listen and take bath in tomato juice.  Now you are the angry skunk that bites the hand that feeds you. 

I saw this post on Facebook recently and there is some truth to it.... 

It made me stop and think… I work with enough addicts to see what could be behind a post like this; such as fear and hopelessness and maybe even trying justification their behavior for not trying to do something about.  When you are offered opportunity after opportunity and all you do is find a reason why the timing is bad or it’s not the right solution for you... etc etc etc...  There comes a time when you need to choose to stop using your addiction as a crutch and do something for yourself.   Look at those around you and ask how they did it... Do what they did until you find a better way and continue to do.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our addition and labels we become handicapped by them, paralyzed by them.  We start to believe our own lies, our own thinking and can’t understand why we are the only one who gets it. You believe you are the only one who understands what you are going through.  Have you ever stopped to think maybe it’s me, maybe I am the one who doesn’t get it?  The problem with addiction is sometimes you can’t see through your own cloud.  You are stuck in your addiction and you can’t see beyond your own thoughts, your own perceived reality, you can’t hear what others are saying.  All you hear is I am broken, damaged, hopeless, worthless, a burden.  I am not worthy, I don’t matter.

Being damaged inside, in some ways, is more difficult than on the outside because no one can see the damage. When we are damaged inside we wear a mask to hide the pain.   When someone loses a leg it’s kind of obvious.  So which is harder to recovery from, internal damage or external damage?  Well, it depends on you and how willing you are to do something about it.

 

When we look at how the brain works it becomes very clear why this happens.  When we hear something long enough, feel something long enough, we begin to believe it, and hold on to it with both hands.  We become it, it has dug deep ruts in our brain.  As Earl Nightingale said "The only difference between a rut and a grave is one has the ends kicked out."   The same applies to some mental illness, they can consume us.  It's like the black dog of depression, when he gets a hold of us we can’t shake him.  Everywhere we go he follows us, waiting, for a sign of weakness, so he can devour us. 

So where and how do you get started with changing your thinking?  Change starts one step at a time, one new thought at a time, trying something different.  Think about how someone who has lost a leg, or both legs learn to walk again.  Can you image getting out of bed and realizing you can’t walk, when you try to stand up you fall flat on your face because you forgot you don’t have legs?  They have to change their thinking and not just jump out of bed like they have for the last thirty years. Now imagine how easily the addition could catch who lost their legs, they have the perfect excuse, they can’t even walk… or can they? 

Next time you think you will never be anything but an addict, think of the person who lost both legs in an accident and chose to walk again instead of laying down and accepting their fate.  The fate of never walking again, letting that black dog of depression catch them.  For them the skunk of addiction could look like an easy solution.  

Why do some choose to walk when others choose to fall? 

They choose because they know anything is possible, they hold on with every fiber of their being to

Hope, Meaning and Purpose so they can run again. 

I am not a piece of meat am I

We often hear about the failures in addiction and mental health treatment and its usually the headline on the evening news, telling us of a tragic ending.  It is rare we get to hear about the successes, especially when the cause of the pain started at age three.

I want to share with you a story of one women who struggled with addiction for thirty years.   Her name is Melissa, she wanted her story told because she wanted everyone to know her story and to see what is possible.  She is now thirty-eight and is happy and healthy, but what she went through to get here is truly heart breaking.  

Her trauma began at age three, that is when she was first sexually molested by her mother’s boyfriend and it continued in various forms until just a few years ago.   Her mother was divorced and had several boy friends who molested Melissa until she ran away at age twelve.  At eight-years-old she already had a problem with alcohol, at age ten, because of a DUI, (yes at ten) was treated for alcohol abuse. On her eleventh birthday her dad gave her a bag of Marijuana. Happy birthday Melissa.   She would often run away and when she was gone, she was rarely missed, but she always returned back to her mother’s house.  Not always by choice.  The system failed her.

At age twelve, she finally escaped the molestation at home, little did she know she was running into the hands of the devil, a pedophile. She ran away to Vermont with a guy who was twenty-six years old and within a week he began to physical and emotional abuse her daily.  The abuse was constant and caused her to miscarry nine times.  Her first at fourteen and she gave birth to her first of three children at fifteen.  She lived in constant fear and pain, all the while her drug and alcohol use increased and she began to have run-ins with the law and eventually she lost custody of her children. At twenty-six decided she had two choices, run away or die, she chose to run. The system failed her again.

She made her way back to the Northwest, back to where it all started.  Bringing with her the guilt and pain of losing her children.  The pain was overwhelming and her drinking and drug use escalated. Through the years she suffered more heartache, abuse and broken relationships, continuing to self-medicating. She got clean and sober a few times, but it never lasted long.  In and out of prison she went through their form of treatment but it didn’t deal with the underlying cause of her addiction and criminal behavior. She had been through the material so many times she could teach the lessons, but her head knowledge never helped to healed her heartache.

After one of her stints in prison she went to a local faith based recovery center, where she ran away twice, what a surprise.  The third time she stayed 126 days and this time God got a hold of her, but even then her sobriety didn’t last long.  She relapsed shortly after because she had not addressed or even understood her pain. Since she had never dealt with her physical and emotional pain, the effects of her trauma would continue to come rushing back and she would turn to what she knew best... Drugs and Alcohol.

Once again she found herself back in a courtroom, this time it was in front of Judge Mitchel and he doled out some tough love and enrolled her in the Mental Health Court Program.  When they gave her a little rope, she ran with it and ended up back in jail, with new charges for possession of Meth.  This happened when she had enrolled in a local welding program, which was supposed to be a safe place.  Soon found herself surrounded by other students using Meth and soon she was using again.  This time, realizing she made a bad choice, she turned herself into the court and confessed her use of Meth. 

Mental Health Court Graduation

Melissa ended up back in front of Judge Mitchel and apparently he wasn’t willing to give up on her, he saw something in her others missed.  Instead of a long prison sentence, the Judge gave her another chance, this time with a shorter rope and he let her back into the Mental Health Court Program.  This time they were tougher on her, filling her days with drug tests, counseling and court ordered Celebrate Recovery, this is where I met Melissa.  When she walked into Celebrate Recovery the first night, it was obvious she was hurting, very angry and shut down and didn’t want to be there.  She sat near the back of the room, with her arms crossed, her angry face firmly in place.  She reluctantly continued to come every week and began to open up and we got to hear why she was angry.  She made it clear she was tough as nails and no one was going to make her do anything.  God had another plan.

After a few months she was up front and center every night and occasionally we would hear a little giggle and even see a smile.  We soon realized that anger and tough shell was her way of protecting herself, since she could no longer hide behind drugs and alcohol. 

We were only about six months into Celebrate Recovery and our groups continued to multiple and we were going to need more leaders. We needed to start a leadership training program and selected several we thought showed promise and Melissa was one of them.  None of them were ready, especially Melissa, but that didn’t stop us.  Over the next three months we conducted weekly training and Melissa started to blossom.  As part of this training they are all required to write their testimonies and present it in front of the group.  This is big step for them, because it requires them to write down what happened in their life, what hurt them and the damage they caused.  This forces them to deal with their past.  For Melissa, this was huge and created a major breakthrough.  She asked me to help

Completion of 12 months CR

her with her testimony and together we worked through every step of her life and we discussed it along the way.  When she was reading her own story, she stopped and stared at me intensely and said “I am not a piece of meat am I, this was not my fault”.  I said “no Melissa it is not your fault”, her face changed and the anger drained out and she has never been the same since.  Everything that happened to Melissa since she was three formed her self-image and until that moment she saw herself as garbage and just a piece of meat.  Now God had her heart and she realized she mattered.  

She has worked very hard and received support from Judge Mitchel and the team from the Mental Health Court Program has given her a chance to grow and heal.  During all of this, she found time to go through a program called Light Works Project a vocational training program for the at-risk community. At Light Works the team meets every morning and prays together then head into the shop to learn construction skills by building Tiny Houses.  The tiny houses are really just a byproduct, most importantly they are taught character, conflict resolution and how to work as a team, all the soft skills they were never taught.  Once she completed her training she become a paid internship and was now earning a living and began to build self-esteem. It is important to note; this is the first time in her life she held a job. 

Now after fourteen months in the Mental Health Court Program she has graduated in front of a standing room only courtroom, filled with all the people who came to show their support.  Many had tears, including the judge who has a huge heart for those he works with.  Melissa is off Social Security and has left the nest of the Light Works Project and works full-time for a local plaster company, she has her own apartment and a truck.  Now Melissa is contributing to society. 

She made it this far because she refused to give up and everyone around her refused to give up on her. Everyone was focused on the whole person, not just her addiction or criminal behavior.  It will take years to heal all the wounds and she will need emotional support for a long time but now she has a future and is not behind bars. 

The important point of this story is what it took to get her to where she is today.  First she had to get clean and sober, then learn how to survive without being self-medicated.  She had to heal her pain and learn to follow the rules of life and then how to deal with the real world.  Miss any of these steps and she would have failed.

Healthy and Happy today

This time the system did not fail her and this is what treatment should look like for everyone. 

Do you have a daughter

Do you have a daughter?  Then you should be very worried. 

Are you wondering what is happening with our young men and why they behave the way they do. Most of us don't realize the brain continues to be wired until our early 20's.  Everything our teens see, do and experience is wiring their brain.  The violent movies, violent video games, online conversations and online pornography are changing the way they think, feel and act.  Most of it done in isolation.  This is where they learn how to treat your daughter.  

All of this is wiring their brain and teaching them how to act and respond to the people and world around them.  

No wonder we have an increase in drug abuse and violence.  

Remember when young guys went out to play ball on the corner lot and they had to learn to cope with not being picked or not being the best?  They had to learn how to deal with conflict, being called names, face-to-face, and it usually ended up with them working it out and leaving as friends.  Now it’s all online, name calling, others piling on, one of them ends up hurting emotionally, pulling inward even more.  Now they hurt deep inside and they turn to drugs, porn or violence to numb the pain…

“On any given day, teens in the United States spend about nine hours using media for their enjoyment, according to the report by Common Sense Media. Some 13-year-olds check social media 100 times a day.”

When you combine this with early drug use, yes this includes marijuana, the effects on the brain increase dramatically.  Drug use changes how the brain processes information and how it is wired. Even moderate drug use slows the maturity growth and can cause mental illness. 

As you can see the problems for our young men are spiraling out of control and we need to do something.

I will leave you with one scary fact… “Some national studies show that up to 70% of women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner”

Addict... Label or Diagnosis

Redefine addiction and not let it define the addict

There is a stigma and for many a sense of shame associated with addiction.  Where did it come from, was it created by the industry or the addict?  Webster says a Stigma is a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people or a mark of shame or discredit.

Now that an addict has decided to seek treatment they deserve support not shame and why do they need to keep introducing themselves as an addict?  I am not sure this is a good idea, how does it help their recovery? Think about it. When they go to a recovery meeting they are told to introduce themselves and say “Hi my name is Dave and I am a drug addict” or “Hi my name is Sally and I am an alcoholic”.  Sure, when you decide to get help you do need to admit you have a problem and that you are an addict.  We all know this is the first step in recovery and is the most important step.  

Why do you need to keep labeling yourself?   Are they perpetuating the stigma of addiction or are they standing up loud and proud?  There are still those who still believe an addict is just morally flawed, just weak and should “just say no”.  We now know it’s not a weakness and science proves it is a disease and now the only question is; what caused the disease and addictive behavior.  Was it caused by nature, nurture or both?  We already know hereditary traits play a role in addictive and compulsive behavior.  We also know our environment can have a dramatic and long term effects on our brain and can trigger these behaviors.  The effects on the brain of being neglected and abused are undeniable.  This was illustrated by the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study at Kaiser Permanente, where they looked at childhood experiences of trauma, abuse, neglect, and family dysfunction and scored each of these experiences.  This study showed with a score of 4 or higher they were five times more likely to become an alcoholic and score of 6 or higher were 46 times more likely to become an IV drug user later in life.  These results have been supported by more than 50 scientific articles. 

Addiction is not about a criminal with a bottle in a paper bag or a needle in his arm.  It’s about the damaged child, the changes in the brain and the pain they are trying to run from or suppress. 

Listen to people around you talk about their addiction and you start to see it has become their identity or even a crutch. It’s all they know. I saw a post on the internet and it said “I’m a drug addict, I suffer with a disease called addiction.  I can’t be cured but I have learned to live with it”.  I found this very sad that she thought this was now her identity.  Recently I received a fundraiser email from a supporter of a non-profit treatment center and in the email they said “They are number 1 in the area in turning thieves into wonderful law abiding citizens”.  This may be true, but did the writer think about the impact those words have on a reader who may be struggling with addiction. I can only imagine what this said to a reader who is struggling. Is this the way society sees me? Why even try?  They may have become a thief but it’s not what they wanted to be and it’s not where they started. They started out an innocent child who was neglected, abused and hurting.

Along with the abuse they suffered they were given labels such as; stupid, moron, idiot, and

worthless, now they have a new label.  Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy and they begin to self-identify with these labels? If you hear something long enough and often enough, you begin to believe it.   The addict doesn’t need the rest of the world telling them how bad they are, they do enough of that on their own.  The media tells us what an addict should look like, you have all seen the guy on the bench with a bottle wrapped in a paper bag or the girl prostituting herself for drug money.  Is that who they really are or is it what has happened to them?  

Addicts begin to own the labels society gives them, it’s their identity.  For some, it has become an excuse not to try anymore.  Some even think... if I tell people I’m an addict they won’t expect much from me and I can get by with accomplishing less.  Don’t hold me accountable because I am defective, I have a disease.  I can’t work because I can’t handle the pressure, I might relapse.  Remember, they are hurting, depressed and without hope.

Taking it further, what if you continue to believe you are sick, will your negative thinking prolong your illness?   Dr. Chopra and Dr. Segal believe positive thinking plays a significant role in recovering from cancer and other illnesses.  So why is it any different with addiction?

I think now it is time to redefine addiction and not let it define the addict.  

Maybe we should start looking at addiction as any other disease, such as cancer.  When you are diagnosed with cancer people don’t run from you, they “Run For The Cure”, they support you, they make sure you get your treatment and even start crowdfunding for you.  Some cancers are not curable, but they can be treated and go into remission.  Once your cancer is in “Remission” people drop the label and stop treating you like you’re sick.  Then it’s up to the cancer patient to take care of their health and follow the long term treatment protocol and watch for reoccurring signs.  Addiction is not much different.  Once you have been in treatment and are in “Recovery” you can lead a normal life as long as you follow the treatment protocol and watch for triggers.

Let’s drop the labels and realize we are all struggling with something.  No need to label, enable or coddled anyone because of their illness, just support them and hold them accountable for their actions.  Addicts also need drop the label or crutch which ever they are choosing to use and focus on the positive side of recovery. They survived… 

Its about rewiring the brain and changing habits.  

What if addicts began to do what top performers do?  Athletes use positive self-talk to accomplish amazing feats of athleticism…   Muhammad Ali took it to the next level by saying... I am the greatest! I'm the greatest thing that ever lived. 

Helen Keller who was deaf and blind said Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.  

Drug use is a victim-less crime... Nope

You often hear people say that addiction and drug use is a victim-less crime. Usually that’s coming from the drug user themselves and you will hear them say “I’m not hurting anyone just leave me alone”. But that’s simply not true, one out of three people in the United States are affected by drugs or alcohol.

You could be affected by a driver under the influence who hit your dad head-on or a heroin addict who just broke into your house and stole grandmother’s ring she gave when she died and the addict pawns if for $50 to pay for their hundred and $100 a day habit.

Maybe it’s just the anger the pain and the hurt the family goes through when they see their child addicted to pain pills, meth or heroin.

If you spend any time around a family who has someone close to them who is struggling with addiction you will see how it affects them and in some cases destroys the rest of the family.  You see one person in the family wants to hold them accountable any other ends up enabling them and now they are fighting because both of them love their child and have no idea how to help them.

Go to a homeless shelter and talk to the people living there and see how addiction has ruined their lives and now they live on the streets panhandling to get just enough to get their next fix. 

Talk to the girl on the street who left her child with her mother while she was selling her body for $25 to support her heroin addiction to stop the pain she is in because she has not used in eight hours.

Stop and talk to the guy sitting on the park bench with his bottle wrapped in a paper bag, all alone because his family left him because he couldn't stay away from the bottle long enough to hold a job.

Visit the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and see the baby who is addicted to crack cocaine when it was born and listen to that 2 ½ pound baby cry out in pain because he hasn't got his daily fix he used to get through his mother.

Then decide if drug use is a victim-less crime.

So-called “special programs” to save people from themselves

In society today there’s a tough balance between a hand-out and hand-up. I see a lot of people struggling with various issues, such as addiction, mental illness and homelessness.  When you look at their daily lives, once they have been in these situations for a while, you begin to understand why it is difficult for them to get out.

Let’s start with addiction, once someone becomes addicted their life becomes focused on one thing and that is finding the next bottle or drug of choice. I've seen many people spend all day trying to find a way just to get enough money to buy whatever their drug of choice is or a bottle. Some of them have to put in some serious effort and it makes you wonder if they had to work that hard just to get the money to buy the drug of choice, how hard would they work if they had a job with hope and purpose and were not addicted.

Then you look at those who are struggling with mental illness and the labels society puts on them and the medications they have to take just to make it through one day. Some even get into trouble and have to go through what they call “Mental Health Court” and are required to attend a number of meetings each week. Some of the restrictions from the outside seem very silly and I know they have to watch what they say to the judge or counselor.  I know that seems funny, they’re struggling with mental illness and they have to be careful with what they say. Sometimes I think the system is stacked against them.

By looking at the homeless, which could encompass addiction and mental illness, or for some it could be they are just going against society you see a different picture. Because of the generosity of those around them they are able to survive. You see once you’re on the street for a while you develop a system, you know where to get breakfast, you know where to get lunch and dinner and when winter comes there is almost always a warm place to sleep.

The problem comes when you are socializing with those who are suffering just as much if not worse than you are this lifestyle becomes comfortable and normal. In some cases they begin to prefer it.  I look around and see how much money we as individuals give to the people standing on street corner with their hand out, with their crudely written signs and the amount of money the government spends on so-called “special programs” to save people from themselves.  But most of these “special programs” don’t include helping them develop the skills to get back into society and learn to live what we call a normal life. 

They just make us feel better because we are not letting them starve to death.

There are a few private programs such as Union Gospel Mission, which provides an 18 month program that if you completed it you come out with better social skills and having learned how to cope in society and how to hold a job.

Most of our government programs just send out a check and they think they are doing the right thing but I suggest that there is something better and that is to provide people with hope and purpose. By sending them a check you take away their hope and their purpose and they only live to get by until the next check arrives.

Then there is the prison system, which do you realize cost the taxpayer $35,000 on average to house a prisoner for one year. In New York State it is $65,000 per year per person. (By the way 76% end up back in jail) What if we took all of this money that we are spending on “special programs” and prison cells and use it to create a similar model such as the Union Gospel Mission and many other private organizations have created around the country.  Maybe it would be money better spent.

The real problem is lack of accountability and purpose

What is the real problem we are facing in America and what are the effects of this problem?

The real problem is lack of accountability and purpose.  When people do not feel they have a purpose they become lost and if they are not held accountable they go astray.   When people go astray and don’t have purpose they easily become addicted and afflicted.

When did we stop caring about others and holding them accountable for their actions and the harm they do to others?  Maybe we didn’t stop caring, maybe we just stop doing anything about it.  Did that happened when the government said it was their job and we said OK I will take a nap.  Well look how well that has worked out.

Look around you, there are too many people in the world who are hurting and hurting others.  Many are too ashamed to admit they are hurting, they just live with their pain and that pain causes a lot of hurts, habits and hang-up’s.  This causes them to do things and act in ways they normally would not.

We are striking out at others… instead of reaching out. 

All we hear from the media, politicians and celebrities are the cries for stricter gun laws, while ignoring the real problem.  The real problem is the pain people are in and it is getting worse.

Look at how we treat people with mental illness, they are ignored or treated as a pariah instead of being understood and loved.  When you look at the recent mass shootings and what they have in common; a history of mental illness and most exhibited clear signals and those around them covered it up or denied.

Do you think for a moment anyone who takes a gun and kills people at random its because they are happy and feeling good?  Of course not, they feel trapped, partly by the stigma we place on people who are addicted and afflicted by something we cannot see or understand.  Look at mental illness, alcohol and drug addiction, when was the last time a friend of yours said I need you to pray for me or hold my hand, because I am suffering from drug addiction or mental illness.  The answer may be never.  People don’t think twice about asking you to pray for them or sit with them when they have cancer or heart problems.

Do you realize how many people die from drugs, alcohol and mental illness and how many families are impacted each year? 

In 2010

·        Alcohol-Induced Deaths 25,692

·        Drug-Induced Deaths 40,393

·        Intentional Self-Harm (Suicide) 38,364

·        Homicide 16,259

The greatest problem may be denial of the real problem.  No one wants to admit they are addicted or afflicted and no one wants to admit someone they love has a problem.  Instead we hide it, deny it, and excuse it, instead of confronting it.

Look at what is happening to our children.  Why do you think drug use among teens has increased dramatically? No accountability, societal pressures, their lives on social media on display and acceptance of drug use? Are they trying to escape or cope?

In 2012, 6.5 percent of 8th graders, 17.0 percent of 10^th graders, and 22.9 percent of 12^th  graders used marijuana in the past month—an increase among 10th and 12^th graders from 14.2 percent, and 18.8 percent in 2007.

Look at what Hollywood does, they accept drug abuse as a part of the business.  They celebrate those who die from it.  The recent Emmys held up Cory Monteith as an icon.  This is a guy who went to rehab and was sent right back to the wolves that catered to his addiction. Obviously he was in trouble, but did anyone doing anything to help him?  No, they just cried when he was gone.  What should have been done; he should have been helped and held accountable. Sit with him, hold his hand and say I am not letting you get away with this crap anymore because I care, and I am here with you.  The average addict goes to rehab 4 times and 70% relapse within 12 months unless they have a support system.

Would you build a house without a plan, would you start a business without a business plan, of course not?  So how do people recover from addiction and affliction without out a plan. They don’t, they die… Some die fast and some die slow.

Why is it getting worse?

The Entertainment industry has a lot of explaining to do.  They expose our children to more violence than most “Call of Duty,” a realistic military simulation that requires players to kill people, Grand Theft Auto V , which made $800 million in the first day.  Yet they say they have no effect.  If that is the case then why did advertisers spend 2012 U.S. $139.5 billion in 2012 to influence our behavior?  

Have any of these simple slogans influenced you? Finger-lickin’ good – Taste the Rainbow –This Bud’s for you ?

I don’t see anyone protesting this abuse of our children, playing these video games the see more than soldiers on active duty in the Middle East see in a four year tour.

It is time we helped those in need by getting them the treatment they need and show them they are loved by holding them accountable.  If you want to get a handle on this problem you must begin to hold each other accountable.  This includes our children.